Dark Shadows (2012)

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isjg9O7ifwM

Dir: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green

                Tim Burton teams up with Johnny Depp again to give us a big screen adaptation of a little known American television series.

                Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) is cursed by a witch (Eva Green), who is in love with him, to be a vampire. He is buried by the angry townsfolk. Almost two hundred years later, his coffin is unearthed and Barnabas goes about reinstating the Collins family name. Unfortunately the witch Angelique is still about.

                As you’ve probably guessed from the trailer, the film has the typical Tim Burton style and quirky characters in it. The style isn’t jarring and it fits with the slightly camp and Gothic subject matter but after so many films with the same style to them, it’s starting to get a bit dull. The most you can say about the film is that it is fine. You won’t hate having come to watch it but you won’t remember much about it once you’ve reached home. It feels more like a fun personal project for Depp and Burton rather than a particularly interesting film for a mass audience.

                The film never really knows what it wants to be. It has a fair amount of jokes, the best being Barnabas’ misunderstanding of Alice Cooper, in it but it’s not the comedy that the trailer makes it out to be. A lot of the humour comes from the fish out of water situation of Barnabas, but luckily the whole of the film doesn’t rely on this as it could become quite monotonous. It actually has a fair amount of Gothic violence in it which sits at odds with its playful almost camp nature. The film is quite meandering, without much of a solid plot to hold on to. The main thrust of it seems to be making the Collins’ rich again and defeating the evil witch, one of which happens but is then unspooled to no real conclusion. The ending is wholly unsatisfactory as it throws in random plot twists, which seem to only be there because they were in the television series, and action which doesn’t lead to anything decent and just sets up an, at the moment, unwanted sequel.

                An entirely tolerable film but there’s nothing here which will really stick with you. Makes you hope that Burton and Depp will doing something really different together next time.

2 out of 5 Buttons

American Reunion (2012)

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7qq0iJGSu0
 

Dir: John Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg

Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Sean William Scott, Eugene Levy

                The American Pie franchise gets milked for another go with the seventh, yes seventh, entry into the franchise.

                The gang are all grown up and they decide to go home and get together for their thirteenth high school reunion. Hijinks ensue.

There is a moment in the film where Jason Bigg’s character Jim tells Stifler (Sean William Scott) that things have changed. Unfortunately, they really haven’t. The film is filled with everything you would expect from an American Pie film. The characters are all pretty much the same as they were in 1999 and the same gross out, sex comedy is all present as expected. Then only reason the film is even in cinemas, rather than being the fourth direct to DVD instalment, is because they have managed to get the entire original cast back together. Jim, Stifler, Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Vicky (Tara Reid), Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), Heather (Mena Suvari) and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) and more all return for one last pay check.

It is nice to see them all together on screen again as even old favourite supporting characters pop up, but a film can’t rely entirely on nostalgia. The film even brings up old jokes from the first couple of movies like a now fading friend going ‘hey, remember this. That was funny wasn’t it? We had some good funny times’ and desperately trying to hold onto a friendship long past its best. Jim’s dad mentions the pie, Jim mentions a flute, Jim and Stifler get trapped in someone’s bedroom. Remember when we all laughed then? The jokes have evolved with time about as well as the assembled cast’s movie careers. I found myself sitting there thinking ‘it’s been thirteen years. I’ve changed since then, why hasn’t any of this?’ The only thing that seems to have changed is what they can get away with in a 15 rated film. This time the sex is a bit more graphic and you actually get to see a penis along with the gratuitous breast and ass shots.

The film is exactly as you expect it to be. It’s the same old stuff for the people who were teens in 1999 and sex and bodily fluids for the teens now. If you’ve always been a fan of the American Pie franchise and are just looking for more of the same then you’ll find much to enjoy here and you’ll probably get a kick from seeing the old gang back together. If you’re looking for something genuinely funny, different and original then just keep on walking. If you want to see a man shit in a cooler and boobs then this if the film for you.

At the end of the film Jim says ‘We should do this every year.’ Hopefully they won’t. This really should be the last piece of the pie that went off long ago.

2 out of 5 Button