Dir: Mark Mylod
Starring: Anna Faris,
Chris Evans
Anna Faris is Ally, a twenty something single woman living
in the city who has problems with guys. After being fired she finds out that
96% of women who have slept with more than 20 men don’t get married. Since she
is nearing this figure she freaks out and instead of finding a new job, decides
to track down all her ex boyfriends to see if they’ve become marriage material.
She enlists the help of her handsome next door neighbour Colin (Chris Evans),
who is a slacker playing in an unsuccessful band and is the opposite of the
perfect man she is looking for. He also just so happens to be the son of a
policeman and is therefore adept at finding people. OH I WONDER IF THEY’LL GET
TOGETHER AT THE END?
If you haven’t guessed the ending having read the synopsis
then watch the trailer. If you haven’t guessed it after watching the trailer
then I assume the cave you’ve been living in was comfy enough to spend 20 years
in. The film piles on cliché after cliché, her sister is getting married, Ally
has a quirky passion she hides in favour of a real job, her parents are
divorced and her father is dating a much younger woman, Chris is the ‘funny’
womanising slacker with the heart of gold etc etc. There isn’t an original idea
in its unfunny 100 minute run time. The film even tries to make little post
modern jokes about the cliché of the situations before just ploughing on ahead
with the cliché regardless.
Anna Faris is fine as a twenty something woman, and judging
by all the pointless semi nudity, she definitely is a woman. Chris Evans is
handsome and arrogant and can play some chords on the guitar which manages to
cover the depth of his character quite well. Other vaguely recognisable actors
appear with the only effect being that their bank balance should have gone up
slightly. None of them should put this film high up on their CV.
The film raises questions which are just brushed off without
explanation. How does either Ally or Colin afford their lovely, exposed brick
city apartments without any means of income? Whose car does Ally steal? What
happened to her job interview and how did she get it in the first place? Why
the need for bestiality and paedophilia jokes? Why did I pay to watch this? The
film manages to come dangerously close to actually having a message along the
lines of it doesn’t matter how many people you sleep with, your number won’t
mean anything to the love of your life, but then it undercuts it at the last
minute with a pointless gag involving vomit and hand jobs. The film does
nothing to break from the conceit that all a woman wants and needs is a man to
fall in love and settle down with.
What’s your number? Is
the same film you have seen a hundred times before and which will be made many
more times until we all evolve into a society of telepathic, gelatinous
organisms who have decided monogamy isn’t the most efficient mode of behaviour
to ensure the survival of the species. If you want to watch an original, funny
and intelligent Rom-com, watch Annie Hall, Easy A or (500) Days of Summer. And
if you’ve already seen them, watch them again.
1 out of 5 Buttons
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